The Redemption of Roan (The Syndicate #2)(2)

By: Kathy Coopmans

My eyes skim the nightclub as I sip on my glass of merlot. The lighting is dim, the dance floor lit up only by the lights adorning the perimeter. Bodies mingle and mesh, sweat pouring out of them as they grind against each other. Hoping they’ve found the one they will be taking home with them for the night.

My roommate Deidre is no exception. She’s lurking around Mr. Fuck-Me-Right-Now-All-Night-Long. How any of these people can do this is beyond me. It’s as if they have no self-respect. You’re disloyal mind has tricked you into thinking it’s okay to sleep with a stranger. That it’s not degrading to yourself to do the good ole walk of shame in the morning. Or to slip out before he wakes. Some of these jackasses who call themselves men get what they want from you and go as far as kick you out the moment they’ve satisfied their dicks. Women do the same. Then the next night they move on to their next victim. How a woman or a man can use and be used like that for their own personal satisfaction will continue on forever.

As I stare at all the people making out in the booths and in the corners, I wonder why I didn’t study the human mind instead of the body. I’m curious as to how it works. Does the mind actually send a shocking nerve wave down to a man’s dick or a woman’s pussy and say he or she is the one? Make them twitch. Wet? He or she is the one? My heart pulses with this one more than it does with that one? It makes me truly wonder if we as humans really only think with our personal body parts when it comes to the opposite sex.

I thought that way once. With the desire to give myself over to a man, to give him as much pleasure as he gave me. To fall apart in his arms. Although, it wasn’t casual sex for me. That man became the biggest mistake of my life. At the age of eighteen, I thought for sure I was in love and he was in love with me too; this strange young man with a jagged scar down his face, one eye covered with a black patch. He intrigued me. Those flaws had stories behind them. None of that mattered to me. I was captivated, eager to see him every chance I got.

My dad took him in, trained him and treated him just like he did my brothers. Being the only daughter, I was sheltered from dating. And who wanted to date Ivan Solokov’s daughter anyway? This entire city knows who my dad is. People tend to run the other way at the mere mention of his name, scared to have any association with us at all. I’ve hated it my entire life. Until he showed up. He told me he felt my pain. Knew what it was like to feel helpless, to be the black sheep of your family. Only Royal was just like my dad and his army of killing soldiers. Worse. It took me four months to realize just how unhinged he really was.

He was family in the eyes of my dad, so the two of us dating made him very happy. He took it as a sign that my heart might change and I would finally accept the things our family did. And I did, all over a man who lied and then turned out to be one of the biggest monsters a person will ever meet. He played off of my innocence, my sympathy for others. So many lies poured out of his mouth. He would tell me how his family disowned him. Claimed they banished him because he was stupid, not smart like his younger brother. They said he was reckless and I believed everything he told me because I had overheard my dad several times talk about Salvatore Diamond, Royal’s dad. An enemy to our family. Not wanting to start a war between the two, both my dad and Salvatore made a treaty with one another: you stay out of my business and I stay out of yours. I believed Royal because nothing happened when he came to work for my dad, no one came looking for him. No war had been started. His family did nothing. Said nothing. No blood was shed over him crossing that unethical line. And when my brother Anton told me the truth about Royal, I was devastated. Here I thought my dad was training him the same way my brothers were learning. What they were doing, I had no clue. I never thought he was being trained to be a killer. And I sure as hell did not know he was addicted to heroin. Poison. The young, naïve woman I was, was blinded by it all.

I knew I had to find a way to get away from him. I left my family no choice but to accept the fact I was leaving. They all knew how important becoming a doctor was for me. With their blessing and the promise from Anton he would kill Royal if he didn’t let me go, I was scheduled to leave, with only one thing left to do and that was to tell Royal. He never once showed his temper to me. Treated me with respect, love, almost to the point of being obsessive. I ignored it all because I thought I loved him. I know now I should have never gone to his apartment by myself. That night changed me towards men. I promised myself I would never give my heart away again, and for ten years I have kept to myself. Not once bringing a man home with me. Not once longing for a touch, a kiss, or the feeling of a man moving inside of me. It is better for me to be alone for the rest of my life than to be in bed with bad company. Men are unscrupulous assholes. I take another sip of my wine, my thoughts still going back to my past.

Also By Kathy Coopmans

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